Lenten Daily Devotional: Alyssa Thomas

"The LORD is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made." (Psalm 145:9)

The Lie: From a young age, I was a perfectionist and desired approval. I remember crying in elementary school over homework assignments. In high school and college, I calmed my test anxieties with the knowledge that I had never failed and so I wasn't going to fail then. I planned meticulously for my career after college, got a job, and within two years was recognized as a "promising talent." I built the expectation on myself to excel not just year after year but year over year, having to always one-up myself. I built this psyche into my mind that if I didn't "continuously improve" every year, I was falling behind others' expectations of me. And so, I put more and more work on myself. Success became my self-worth and my way of controlling my life. Then in 2016 an event happened at work where I made a mistake. There was an investigation, a lot of questions, titles taken away, and I struggled with thinking, "It's not really my fault; I don't make mistakes." But perfection apart from Jesus is a lie, and God was teaching me about humility and giving up control to Him. He comforted me through the dark times and taught me to trust in His ways above my ways. Prayer: Lord, I thank you for the promise you made to always walk with me, even when in my foolishness, I turn away from you and trust in my own works. I see in myself the temptation to be a Pharisee, arrogant and blind to my own faults. Forgive my pride and may my life reflect that of Josiah, who tore his robes and humbled himself when he heard the Book of the Law and that revealed how all of Judah had sinned against the Lord. Praise to you oh Lord for the grace you bestow on your people, Israel, the Church, though we do not deserve your mercy and love. Because of Jesus, I am a child of God. In You I find everlasting freedom and hope. Amen.

- Alyssa Thomas